I'm Aging & I Like It

I was 22 when I married Brandon. I was glad I was 22 because 21 sounded so young. At 22 the world started giving me more respect, which is why I'm desperately awaiting 30. I think 30 will be the best year of my life because people will stop considering me young and unable to understand the way the world really works. At 30 I will be, in the world's eye, mature and savvy and able to initiate change without the stigma of idealistic youth hovering over my head like the storm clouds that appear over grumpy cartoons.

Age is such a funny thing anyway. I have a hard time keeping track of how old I am. I forget a lot but I think that's because I'm so focused on reaching a full 3 decades. Thirty sounds nice, like I'll have more things figured out by then.

When I was in elementary school, I envied college students. Instead of latchkey, my after school program was watching Gilligan’s Island reruns and eating kiwi with my grandma.

Every day on the walk to her house I passed the dorm rooms of Capital University, also known as my grandmother’s parking nemesis. While she complained about the cars taking over her street, I dreamed of a professor seeing me and thinking, that girl has talent. From there I became a famous singer or movie star. Either was fine with me. I thought: if only I could get to be 20… or 19 (I would settle for 19), then people would respect me.

What is it about me that I seem to always be looking ahead? For me, contentment is never found in the now, it lives in the future. I wonder, are we all wired that way?


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