Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem

Within 5 minutes of opening my computer I had searched, decided on, and purchased my next pair of shoes.  Thank you internet for catering so well to my stress.  I guess all of the energy I hold onto has to go somewhere, so I’m fine if it’s put toward foot fashion.  However, I’m not sure Crocs count as fashion.  But carpe diem anyways.

Imagining my days as a blank canvas just waiting to be covered fills me with excitement—anything is possible. I can decide to paint, or write, or meet a friend, or make a new friend, or go to a park, or clean up our spider-y basement, or organize my growing shoe collection.  In the moments when the day hasn’t been declared yet, I feel a sense of opportunity.  Like I’m an explorer who gets to chart out the path through undecided time. No office hours have been set, no meeting rooms have been scheduled, and no one is urgently frustrated with my decisions. 

I used to think that rest meant I had to lie on the couch like a slug, but now I know it means finding activity that makes my brain light up with joy. Seizing the day isn’t about greasy potato chips and that oh-so-soft-but-sort-of-nasty t-shirt you’ve held onto since sophomore year of high school. It’s about finding something from your love list and doing that thing.  I have a lady in my life who gives me grace and reminds me that I’m loved.  She said that I should make a love list of anything that makes me happy or brings me joy—no matter how small.  My list is filled with things like: going on walks, mowing the grass, petting my dog, painting my nails, buying nail polish, reading, writing, getting inspired on etsy, making a play list, shoe shopping…. Anything that I enjoy goes on the list.  That list has been the source of healing for me.  After years of ignoring my own need for creativity, space and growth, I now have time to engage joy in new ways.

Love and lists,

Hanna