What's My Purpose?

After a call to my parents yielded little results with getting an answer to life’s burning question: What’s my purpose? I went to the next best place. But to my chagrin googleing, What should I do with my life, didn’t produce any profound results either. I was left with a few links to Buddha-themed websites and a list of self-help books on amazon. Apparently finding your purpose isn’t as easy as it was portrayed on ‘The Jerk”. I need more than an ashtray and a chair… and some rhythm.

Since I can’t foreshadow the future, I spent some time reflecting on what I learned in the past year. Hoping that maybe the past 12 months would illuminate some grand insight about my next step. And unfortunately/fortunately this is not an exhaustive list.

  1. I’m mostly under prepared for everything in life—including (but not limited to) being a parent.  Thanks to the internet I can read lots of opinions about being a parent but none of those opinions really matter.  It’s the lessons learned in the doing.
  2. Rolling with the punches is really hard. I’ve finally conceded. Parenting has been a lesson in giving over what power I thought I had to this tiny human being.  So long easy shopping trips, quiet car rides, free time, eating slowly, clothes that stay clean for an entire day, and good bye to letting the sun rise before me.
  3. Parenting is rewarding. And so is working. And so is being a good friend. And so is being a loving wife.
  4. If I’m working, I want to be at home. If I’m at home, I want to be working. Each decision I make about how I spend my time carries enough weight to crush me with guilt. I have to constantly make the decision to be okay with my choices.
  5. When in doubt, don’t judge.
  6. If you’re still in doubt, be kind… even when you’re tired and self-righteous. 
  7. Get outside everyday.
  8. Being a parent will trigger all insecurities you’ve ever had (even the ones that you pushed deep down and thought disappeared). Decide to love yourself anyways.
  9. Sometimes life is just hard. And you can’t think about how hard it is. Instead you just decide to take one step forward and get done what needs to be done.
  10. If your upper lip needs waxed- wax it (instead of blaming it on constant bad lighting that produces too many shadows). And then call your mom and let her know you’ve experienced another rite of passage. Please read #5 and then #8.
  11. Thank your parents for loving you. And getting you this far. And for putting up with your crazy self when you were a sticky-hands-in-everything-toddler, and during your 7th grade awkward-training-bra phase, and during your high school mean streak, and during your college find-your-self-days, and when you were in your 30’s.  And thank them for listening to you rant. Always.

Cheers to another year of lessons and hopefully a little bit closer to finding out my life’s purpose. ☺

Love and peace to your soul,


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