20 Seconds of Insane Courage

"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and i promise you, something great will come of it" - Benjamin Mee, We Bough a Zoo

I've become keenly aware of my inabilities, of my ineptness, of my brokenness.  It's also called 'growing up'- at least that's what other adult-like people say. In a strange kind of way it's also a freeing place because there's opportunity in this predicament.

How I was isn't how I have to be.

Like a crushed up peanut shell thrown on the ground at Logan's Roadhouse restaurant, some days I feel more like pieces that have been stepped on and crushed into smooth gray concrete. Other days I'm less of a nut and more like a steady tree with deep powerful roots.

In my tiny crushed up shell state, I find myself second guessing a lot.
In my power tree stance, I find myself growing a lot.

Growth doesn't always look like what you think it would either.

Before the interview I walked into the bathroom, dropped, and did 10 pushups.  Then, I jumped up and did a combination of air punching and river dance side kicks before looking in the mirror and saying in my tough-talk voice, you are a confident smart woman, dammit! 

Believe it or not, that was growth. I went from hiding in the stall and wishing the interview away last month, to this month doing some sort of pre interview warmup.  It worked.  I've been working on a project for the past months where I have to interview a leader on leadership topics- on camera.  It's actually pretty basic but it's a stretching role for me.  This month was different though.  When I walked out of that restroom and stepped into the studio, sat down at the table, I just began.  I talked myself into 20 seconds of insane courage.  Although there was a lot about the day that wasn't perfect on my part, I still engaged.  A little piece of me grew.  You grow girl!


Post a Comment