Delta: Random Ramblings

Showing posts with label Random Ramblings. Show all posts

3 Reasons Why I'm Deeply In Love with Summer

I come alive in the summer. Vibrant. The humidity melts my cynicism unlike anything else has ever been able to. Today, my infatuation with summer lives on for these 3 reasons: (Disclaimer: Items are subject to change slightly tomorrow but for today, this is it!)

Summer Fruit

Peonies

Fireworks

Happy Summer... off to pick my husband up from the airport.

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Mondays Are Great!

I'm starting to see a startling trend: Mondays are forever difficult days for me. The clock is slower, the meetings are longer, and the topics are harder. But I've never been one to take crap from any day of the week, not even you Monday! So this is it. Today is going to be great!

If the black hole of nebulous weirdness opens up, I have worked all day Sunday to build up my forcefield to avoid getting sucked in. I've eaten my spinach, done my crunchies, and taken 2 multivitamins (for good luck).

My Mondays are changing.

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Pep Talk Fail

Still. The silence in the room is the closest to contentment that I’ve felt in… a while. I haven’t made quiet space to allow deep breathing for me to just be me (whatever that means). I’m fried.

Each day I start out with a pep talk: I can do it. Then as each minute of the morning progresses, and the time slips away, my peppy words fade into the day and the slope of frustrated reality comes to the foreground. (Cue picture of me looking frustrated coming into focus.)

Life is good though. I have a lot of things to be thankful for- lots of support, lots of love, and lots of life-giving friends. But to ‘name’ where I am, like any good psychologist would tell me to do, I’m in a place that just feels hard.

So my future to-do list includes getting rid of the things that feel hard. But for now, my left over post pep talk energy is saved for fixing up a house that Brandon and I just bought.

Peace to my homies. Hope you’re finding some time to enjoy the stillness.

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Looking For Peace

Sometimes I need to take a deep breath and

let myself slow

down my rushed thoughts.

My mind hurries in every moment

always thinking

dreaming

of the next

thing

things

thought.

Next.

I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace... John 14:27

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4 Year Old Life Lessons

A meal I never liked: Thanksgiving. In my life I can categorize the things that I do into two groups: 1. Things I have to do. 2. Things I like to do. Oversimplifying, maybe but it works for this blog post.

Thanksgiving is in the bucket of things I have to do. I don't like to cook (although I pretend sometimes but it doesn't last very long). I have a low tolerance for small talk and crowds of my family frightens the introvert in me. This year wasn't so different from past years with the usual questions still surfacing: how's work (this conversation always comes to a quick end), have you thought about having kids, and what dish did you bring (answer: none). I spent much of the night engaging just enough for the small chatter to continue without awkward moments while I observed my niece and nephews play hide and seek.

I was stuck by my 4-year-old niece who displayed a sense of confidence that shined brighter than the newly decorated Christmas tree flickering behind her. I wondered, if her sense of self worth was part of great parenting, part of being a 4 year old, or just part of her personality. I was in awe at her inner resolve to stand up to brothers, take a compliment with grace, and assertively ask for what she wanted.

I know she's only 4 but, I wonder if there is a lesson here for adults. A lesson in self confidence, in being okay with 'me', in asking for what we want, and in taking a compliment with grace. Just sayin'.

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Inspired by Texture

Saturday (November 20) at the Chicago Botanic Garden.

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Bed by 7:30

On Saturday I went to bed at 8:30. I lied. It was 7:30. I'm turning into my parents. I had my elastic-stretch-to-infinity-and-beyond pants on (the ones that I wear only when I go to Dairy Queen) and I was reading in bed- and that was my recipe to fall asleep.

More than anything I love time when I can be lazy- the real lazy. The kind of lazy that you let yourself be after you've done the chores and you've completed (most of) the to-do list. That's when I dwell in my lazy. But dwell in a good way. I'm simple.

After falling asleep at 7:30, I woke up at 4:30. Too early to get up at 4:30. 4:30 is what my grandparents do. There, I have covered 2 generations of family sleep patterns in 1 night. When I woke up I stayed in the quiet darkness of early morning. I love that time of day. Sometimes I wish that the early morning would last for an entire day. The silence is so calm. If I had to be a time of day- it would be the quiet morning.

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I Found Out I'm Strong

Thanks to a friend who hadn't scratched the code on the Strengths Finder book, I now know my top strengths.

Strategic
People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
Learner
People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
Ideation
People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
Intellection
People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.
Relator
People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

PDF description of all 34 Strengths

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Passionately Unsure

I should be passionate about something.

Is it hard for me to be passionate because:

a) I'm afraid to commit to the 'wrong' thing

b) I don't know myself well enough yet

c) I just haven't found it

Every person who has done anything significant was passionate about something. What if I'm just average B-student middle ground vanilla Midwest suburb safe somewhat boring do what's right steady Hanna? Average people without passion don't change the world, or anything for that matter.

I listened to Donald Miller give a message at Willow Creek Community Church. I like Donald's style. Candid. Dorky. Aware. Here's what I remember from Donald's message (sorry to Donald for not remembering more):

"God is like a good dad"

I find myself looking to God for the exact answer to the exact problem in the exact way that I want it. I'm not 100% sure I understand all the ways that God works but I'm pretty sure that God doesn't always fit neatly into my prepackaged plans. So like a good dad addressing a tough life lesson question, the answer doesn't come clearly or right away. Whether I'm average or not, I have space to learn and grow through a not-so-average season of change.

Oh, and for anyone curious, I'll go with d) all of the above.

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Alarm Sounds

The pulsating car alarm drives directly into my drowsy head. There is no room for an alarm sound. No space inside to listen.

Beep.
It screams at me through the window.

Beep.
It's sound is the Cadillac of nails on a chalk board. I wish I could listen to anything but this noise. Anything.

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